Wave Wet Sand
by angelkicat
Summary: The tide rises, the tide falls.


**_Wave Wet Sand_ **

* * *

_You are as reliable as a painting in wave wet sand._

He'll be back. You tell yourself. And you know he will as a fact. One way or another you will meet again - as friends, teammates, or enemies. You will meet. The world is small enough that the three members of the broken team seven would be reunited. You hope it's anything but as enemies.

But you realized long ago that he is unreliable, and you fell in love with him.

_  
Look in your eyes and I can't see a thing,  
That usually means attraction to me_

You don't understand completely, really: the way you met as children, the way he looked through you with those dark, smoldering eyes. The way he smiled down at you that one time - You remember the image, his childish, innocent smile and a background of telephone poles and the cloudless, endless sky. The way his eyes curved so _perfectly_ as his lips curved to a smile made you realize something. You realized that you were a child, and you were in love with a child.

_  
I've read all the books about love I could find,  
And I've found not one, no,  
Not one word about mine -_

Maybe it wasn't love at first. Maybe her naive mind had known little about the differences between "love" and "like" and everything in between. All she knew for certain was that he was _special_- special to her, and being special to someone meant being loved by someone.

He must have known she was smart, right? Her prowess in school earned her then nickname "forehead." Teased for her intellect and underdeveloped ego, she met Ino, and she was glad. Then she met him, and hoped that he would be like Ino, but he had changed soon and she hoped she could change him back - but prayers were unreliable. And it was even worse when she decided that Sasuke was even more important than Ino, she feared now that her logic had failed her then. She didn't realize that it was a petty thing to do, and that it was all because she was reaching out to a boy - a broken, vengeful boy that wasn't the same boy she fell in childish love with.

_  
'cause you are reliable as a painting in wave wet sand  
You're coming and you're going: Like the water you never end.  
'cause you are reliable as a painting in wave wet sand  
And I am just another piece of an island  
In reach for your hands_

But the childish phase had come and it passed with easy swiftness. When she looked at him during the exam, he was wounded and afraid, she didn't understand until later but she was really in love. She didn't understand until it hurt so much to look at him with a smile, until it hurt her so deeply - she felt that maybe her heart would bleed. She though, 'isn't this what love is? this wrenching pain and agony? the feeling that you would be torn apart if he ever left your side?'

_  
...feel my doubts when you are in my arms..._

In the exams she had doubted herself and her motives. Why? Why? Why? She asked. But 'whys' were useless in battle, and she knew she needed to be anything but useless. Her resolution was sealed in her hair.

_  
Darling, if you know that its love and not charm,  
You must tell me so or go elsewhere to hunt._

The rest was left to him. And what was left to him was left with his parting words.

"Thank you."

He chose a time like this to suprise her - and leave her heartbroken. She knew it was coming, but if only he was as reliable as Naruto was when it came to being friends. Yet he was no Naruto, and she felt more as a liability than as a friend. She would do anything to be a friend.

_  
'cause you are reliable as a painting in wave wet sand  
You're coming and you're going: Like the water you never end.  
cause you are reliable as a painting in wave wet sand_

But her efforts dissappeared with his presence in the village, like a drawing in sand on the shore of the sea.

_  
Your love..._

He was gone.

_  
I am just another piece of an island_

And she was left alone. So isolated in a sea of comrades and neighbors that just didn't understand. And then Naruto was gone, and she felt so utterly alone.

_  
I can't close my ears when I hear that you call.  
I don't want to fear every tear that could fall._

And here they meet again, face to face. And she as deja vu as he half-smiles down at her the endless sky above him, she's shocked, mouth gaping. 'Is...is it really...?'

She feels like she's twelve again, catches herself before she falls into an emotional trap, and understands just how deeply she's gotten herself into trouble. She'd been sick of being useless, she disciplined herself, requested apprenticeship to the Sennin Hokage, and grew in strength and stamina and knowledge and control and maturity. She was finally _satisfied_ with who she was becoming. Being satisfied with herself, she felt satisfied with her friends and she felt more of a bond with Naruto than she understood before.

But she was never satisfied with her love of Sasuke.

_  
I'll go on my own, and pass people with doubts.  
My goal is to find just a piece of your love._

She honed her skills, trained and trained until she couldn't even drag herself home to bed. She would do it. She would make herself do it. She wouldn't give up. People could look at her in shame, in pity, in whatever. She would bring him back: not just with painful, heartfelt words, but with a powerful kick in the ass.

'Hell yeah!' Her fighting spirit was fanning the flames.

_  
Your love is - your love is like the water_

Her deja vu fades and she sees him for real this time. He's not really smiling. He's not _really_ Sasuke-kun. He's Uchiha Sasuke of the Sound now, and you know it - knew it all along. You hope there's a piece of Sasuke-kun somewhere in there. Hopes so much it hurts and feels like love.

_  
You are like the water.  
You are like the water._

Sharp mind whirling, she understands. She understands everything; understands it so well she can put it in a metaphor.

_  
You, you are my shore, and you know  
You are my shore._

Nothing will ever be the same. The love she had pressed on him would be slip off of him - like an a image of a heart etched in sand with a stick, like footprints fade with the coming tide. But the yearning in her would never fade. He was, is, and will always be her first love, but never stable enough to be her only.

_  
'cause you are reliable as a painting in wave wet sand  
And I am just another piece of an island in reach for your hands_

You understood this pattern the day he left. You knew it was coming. You were reliable and resonable and logical and you knew it was coming, expected it but hoped it wouldn't be.

_  
I am just another piece of an island..._

You knew he would leave you the day you met. You knew because his eyes reminded you of the ocean. You knew you would always be reaching for him, isolated, hoping to find a piece of his love. You knew that he was the sea on the shore - coming and going, rising and falling. So different from her - like a tree, rooted and determined and beautiful. You knew, you were a smart girl, and saw it coming.

But you never knew it would feel like this.

The night he left, you expected it. You knew he would leave. You were terrified that he wouldn't come back. But you understood that you would, it was a small enough world that you would meet again.

You hope that he is like the ocean.

Because the way you looked into his eyes the day you met - just likethe way you look at him now - you understood that though images in sand dissappear with the tide

- the tide always returns.

----------------------------------------------

_.: And the tide rises, the tide falls:._

* * *

Lyrics from "Wave Wet Sand" by Ace of Base 


End file.
